Nov 11, 2007

Ellen, You've Been Pied!


TOP STORY: CHOCOLATE PIE, YUMMY
Robin Williams pied Ellen Degeneres today after
she walked thru the (Screen) Writer's Guild strike line.
.
Not really, but he should have...


REAL NEWS ABOUT THE WRITER'S STRIKE
...
NO NEW POSTS TIL STRIKE IS OVER....

Oct 22, 2007

Who Needs Terrorists?



Who Needs Terrorists? by Richard Belzer



"...We can scare the sh#t out of ourselves, thank you very much." -RB
------
"Munch" seems less and less paranoid. You are not paranoid if they really are out to get you. - dhkelly
-------
Life IS a Seinfeld episode...
and we are stuck in the Bizarro world... - Halsey
-----
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains,
a pretty violent image there.
I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it,
maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
--------------------FYI, the 4.00 Rx aside. Walmart stock (Asda)
is owned by an Arab...
So is Fox News and umpteen
dozen other things like CNN.

I want my Dada...

I think I'll just go hide in France...

Oct 11, 2007

General Bonkers for Purrzeedent


=======
"Oh what a tangled web we weave...
when first we practice to deceive."
-- Sir Walter Scott

May 23, 2007

101 Comedians Part II

From The Great Movie Comedians by Leonard Maltin.

58. Bob Hope .................. 59. Fatty Arbuckle
60. Buster Keaton .......... 61. Harold Lloyd
62. Charley Chase ......... 63. Raymond Griffith
64. Marie Dressler ......... 65. Will Rogers
66. Joe E. Brown ........... 67. Groucho Marx
68. W. C. Fields ............. 69. Mae West
70. Abbott & Costello ........ 71. Danny Kaye

From Comedy Central

73. Tig ................ 74. Maria Bamford
75. David Spade ............... 76. Brian Regan
77. Belinda Waymouth .... 78. Retta
79.
Gary Shapiro .............. 80. Rachel Feinstein
81. Jeff Foxworthy ......... 82. Marina Franklin
83. Ophira Eisenburg ..... 84. Rene Hicks
85. Heather Lawless ....... 86. Kathleen Madigan
87. Rylee Newton .......... 88. Wendi McLendon-Covey
89. Paul Mecurio ............. 90. Melanie Reno
91. Alexandra McHale .... 92. Debbie Shea
93. Tess .................... 94. Jane Edith Wilson
95. Amy Anderson ......... 96. Tami Vernekoff
97. John Caparulo .......... 98. Maz Jabrani

99. Joe Devito ................ 100. Andrew J. Lederer

and

101. Me =^..^=

-----------------------------------------------------------

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye (1913 - 1987)

May 20, 2007

101 Comedians


Top 13 Actors/Comedians
who influence my life and theatrical talent:

...
1. Jerry Lewis
2. Carol Burnett
3. Richard Belzer (and Harlee McBride)
4. Bill Cosby
5. Sid Caesar
6. Robin Williams
7. Lucille Ball
8. Eddie Izzard
9. Mabel Normand
10. Johnny Carson
11. Red Skelton
12. Mel Brooks
13. George Carlin

And 88 more that I can think of...(in no particular order)

14. Bill Murray ................. 15. John Belushi
16. Gilda Radner ............. 17. Dan Aykroyd
18. Chevy Chase ............ 19. Jane Curtin
20. Laraine Newman ......
21. Garrett Morris
22. Gene Wilder .............. 23. Richard Pyor
24. Eddie Murphy ............. 25. Bob Newhart
26. Lily Tomlin ................ 27. Eric Bogosian
28. Bill Maher ................ 29. Dennis Miller
30. Burns & Allen ............ 31. Milton Burle
32. Laurel & Hardy .......... 33. Charlie Chaplin
34. Stephen Colbert .......
35. Jon Stewart
36. Jerry Seinfeld ......... 37. David Letterman
38. Bob Nelson .........
39. Will Smith
40. Dick Van Dyke ...... 41. Mary Tyler Moore
42. Adam Sandler ........... 43. Joan Rivers
44. Chris Rock ............. 45. Sarah Silverman
46. Steve Martin ......... 47. Ellen Degeneres
48. Flip Wilson ............ 49. Rodney Dangerfield
50. Sue Murphy ...... 51. Dante
52. Tracy Ashley ........ 53. Josh Blue
54. Phyllis Diller ............. 55. Brad Stine
56. Tim Conway ....... 57. The Three Stooges

and Mickey Mouse.

Oh.... that's only 44 more... I'll try again later.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.
Thomas A. Edison, Harper's Monthly, 1932 (1847 - 1931)

Feb 20, 2007

Pie Not Included


"Some mornings,
it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
--Emo Philips

Feb 18, 2007

Let's Go UFO

Art Bell On UFOs(Coast 2 Coast AM Radio)

Anybody out there, We're looking for E.T. Have you seen him??
He might be lost...
(Didn't your Mommy ever teach you not to talk to strangers??
).
And Now For The Other Side of the Tail... ahem.... Tale

Aliens R Us
But not you...those other people...

Feb 13, 2007

Beauty With Out Cruelty

(Photo From Brouwer Fall Collection 2005)

Animal Lovers & Fashionphiles eyed each other suspiciously
during the PETA-Sponsored 2007 Marc Bouwer Show.
The cruelty-free collection (not even wool)
brought out Richard Belzer with his little bitty dog (BeBe...),
Marlo Thomas, Vivica Fox, and Oksana Baiul.
(Text taken from fashion article in The Sun Sentinel, 8 February 2007)

Feb 1, 2007

Time For Tea

---
“Do jokes somehow address a concern,
a primal concern that we have? Yes, they do.
They deal with things that are almost incomprehensible.
They’re ways of controlling the
uncontrollable…
That’s the best thing we can hope for in comedy: honesty.”


-- Richard Belzer from pages 51 & 52
of How To Be A Stand Up Comic
with Larry Charles and Rick Newman. ©1988

Jan 3, 2007

Today's Word is Pugilistic


"With my uncertain, self-conscious motions perceived as character rather than circumstance, I began to increasingly fear all manner of potential misperception. I didn't speak as often as I had, afraid the reaction to my words would be other than I wished; terrified I would communicate something other than I intended.

One night, Richard Belzer, who -- when I first came around the comedy clubs as a teenager -- was very nice to me, reacted to the newly timid me by saying, 'I liked the old, pugilistic Andy better.'

We were standing in the back hallway of the (L.A.) Comedy Store and my reticence to speak must have leapt out...I smiled inside at the notion that I had once been 'pugilistic' and, ever optimistic, assumed I would be again. That was, after all, the 'real me'. "

-- Andrew J. Lederer, Comedian.